I cried out to God today. The song that was being sung was “there is a place my heart cries out for Lord” (by @drpastorpaulenenche )
I am always yearning for Him but this degree of desperation for God is unprecedented. It’s fast becoming clear to me how vapid life is without Him. Being called out requires being solitary. Said separation can been brutal and it would be a shame to do all that and yet not experience Him in His fullness.
One also gets to a point of being overwhelmed by the sometimes absurd and enormous expectations placed by the constant vociferous chatter of both supporters and unwelcome uncaring observers/naysayers alike. This in turn fuels self-doubt coupled with trepidation of the future leaving me paralyzed and unable to execute my vision.
All in all, my heart cried out to Abba.
If this is what you’ve called me to do, I can’t do it alone. I want to dwell in that place so secret that I am impervious to these malicious psychological darts of the enemy. Let your shadow conceal me. (Psalm 91:1)
Let me be so unmovable in my love and trust for you Abba. I have set my love upon you. I know your name. Deliver me. Set me on High. (Psalm 91:14)
These were a few of my thoughts in this moment.
PS:-
I will be giving this space a bit of a break. I do my best to be a light and share God’s love on here. Being myself is a radical act of courage. And I have been committed to showing young people how valid they are in Christ. Being Christian doesn’t have to be dull (Matthew 5:14). I’m so grateful for what God is using my identity to do for others.
That being said, I’ll need some time away to refresh and boost my strength. I am a strong woman but one has their threshold. Fun thing I’m learning is that not everyone is happy for you when you’re unapologetically living for God and will do all they must to tear you down with hypocritical hyperfixations on performed religion instead of true spirituality.
So I’ll pop here a little later
For now, please follow my stories for updates and such.
I hope you have a lovely day today (and of course tomorrow) and are reminded how loved you are by Abba. ❤️ (Romans 8:38-39)
Have a blessed week and see y’all later 💐.