WHEN A MAN IS WAITING FOR THE WIFE TO PAY HOUSE RENT, CHILDREN’S SCHOOL FEES AND BUY FOOD IN THE HOUSE; YOU ARE NO LONGER A MAN; PULL YOUR TROUSER AND WEAR SKIRT.
NEVER MARRY ANYBODY WHO IS TRYING TO MARRY YOUR MONEY, PROPERTY OR POSSESSION.
MARRY SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU FOR YOU.
Never marry anyone who is marrying your money, property, position or influence and only God can make you to know. I remember the story of a man, who was with a girl in relationship. I don’t think they were married here and they were in a fueling station, going to get fuel and he had an attack from bad people and the man was shot.
While he laid in the pool of his blood, this girl quote and unquote, maybe wife to be, went to the pocket of the man and picked the remaining foreign currency that was in the pocket of the man in his pool of blood, carried it and went away. That was how much love she loved the man.
Never marry anybody who is trying to marry your money, property, possession. This is also true for young ladies; that man that is coming around you because you are a working-class lady; you have a car, you have this and you have that, that man may deal with you later and I don’t want to mince words. One of the most challenging relationship types I have seen is where the woman is ahead of the man, whether academically, mentally, financially, position wise; it is very challenging because in every way, men are meant to be ahead and at times, women behave as if charm charm them. They say love is blind; “I love the man.”
You have a PhD, the man has secondary school certificate; “I love the man.” I am not looking down on his qualification, but men are wired such that they have an ego inside them. When you get married, any single thing that happen, he will say, “Is it because you are a graduate?” And he begins to exert his authority physically. He begins to look for how to fill the vacuum and the difference by harassment and oppression, to show you he is the man. His inadequacy and deficiency, he is beginning to release them in other ways and make life unbearable for you: “Is it because you come from a rich family? Is it because you think you have a car or is it because you think you are this and you are that?” Let him try and marry someone he is in front of, that can respect him without force and fight.
I am talking to you from over almost thirty years of counseling marriages and close to about 28 years of being married. That is what I am talking from, not theory. Everything may look okay now and one of the worst things I have seen is when a man is waiting for wife to pay house rent, waiting for woman to pay children’s school fees, waiting for woman to buy food in the house. You are no longer a man then; pull your trouser and wear skirt, wear dress, wear gown. I am not out here this morning to attack anybody, but to say the truth and to ensure that we stop suffering ourselves.
Just do your best under God. I cannot ask my wife, where is your contribution to food money? I can’t. Children’s school fees, what are you bringing? I can’t; not now, before pastoring. I am not saying that if there is an agreement between a man and his wife to put their resources together, it is bad. That agreement is possible.
But where it comes to the point where the woman is carrying the burden of the home, it is an abomination. Wife is wearing clothes; you don’t know how she bought it, wearing shoe; you don’t know how she bought it, whether she is having some strange relationships outside supplying her those things, you don’t know. She is driving car; you don’t know how she bought it.
So please, while we are in the process of getting married or getting into relationship, these things are very important. Never marry anyone who is marrying your money, property or position. Marry someone who loves you for you (Genesis 24:67). Isaac just loved Rebecca, not because she came with money or this or that. Please bear this in mind, otherwise, it is a signature for frustration. Oh boss, when it is time to marry, marry somebody you are in front of; mentally, spiritual, potential wise; for your own sake and for the sake of that person or at least, at par with the potential of going further.
You know like I said, the man schooling ego is so strong, that the woman shinning too much in front of the man can become a challenge for him. That is why he must be shinning originally.
-Pastor Paul Enenche on ‘DIMENSIONS OF WISDOM’
First Service, Dunamis International Gospel Centre.
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